October 6, 2010

Strange Place - Hey Look No Pictures!!

I’m in a very strange place right now. I have lots I want to do and no time to do it – or so it seems. How do you all manage to work full time, manage a home (and I don’t do finances!) and find time for yourselves? I’m about empty folks – and let me tell you it’s not a pretty place.

Ever since reading The Good Body – I’ve been trying to be more accepting of my body and the fact that is it good. It’s healthy and strong and had I been born in a different period of time – I’d be very popular (think late 1800’s farm wife!).

I’m not sure how I found Already Pretty, but I love Sal. I’ve never felt pretty. I’m not comfortable putting on make-up and I’m a klutz at painting my nails. Jewelry is about as ‘glammed up’ as I get. Now – I don’t mean to sound ‘down on myself’ or looking for compliments, I’m just sayin’.

So – with the good body thoughts and Sal’s very encouraging and positive posts floating through my brain I’m trying to change things. I’m trying to accept the good and the pretty and see it daily. I’m trying to make time for me – the things I like to do and the ones I need to do.

So – anyone want to help me out? How did you learn about make-up? Who do you trust? Every time I go to a makeup counter I walk out feeling done up like a clown, not the look I’m going for – I just want to feel a little more polished and done.

This body acceptance stuff is tough. I’m practicing yoga with a private instructor and it’s good. I’m very flexible (but don’t have a ton of balance) and I’m learning to see the good – yes my thighs are big, but they are sturdy and they can carry me up tons of stairs.

Okay – enough. Talk back and share your stories of makeup and learning to accept your body, please. It’s a pretty personal topic, so if you’re willing to share but not in comments you can email me at gmariesews-at-gmail-dot-com.


  1. Makeup? Well, that was a hit or miss, experimental process. But then I found this brilliant queer beautician who just loved recommending colors for me (and gave me helpful hints like, "Never wear a white turtleneck, because it will make your teeth look yellow. Wear ecru." Overall, I wear the lightest makeup color sold, and that's often too dark for me. Go a shade lighter than your face, and it will blend in. Neutral eye tones always work, too. Body? Well, I used to have a 22" waist, and I've never gotten over the loss of it. But my dearly beloved tells me I look great, and sometimes I even believe him. So we all suffer our insecurities.

  2. Read the Harlot today. Not only will it make you feel better about making a craptacular mess out of your knitting (that would be me), but the last couple of lines put things into perspective for all of us.
    Anon Miss D

  3. I don't have make-up tips. I don't wear foundation ~ just moisterizer. I play up my good features...I line my eyes with brown eyeliner, put mascara on my lashes and I wear a glossy lipstick. That's it. I do try to keep current with lipstick colors though.

    As for the pretty thing...I just believe that I am, so I am. I know I'm heavier than normal chicks but the SO loves me the way that I am and thinks I'm beautiful and that helps alot. But mostly, I'm beautiful because of who I am inside.

    Not much help...right? *LOL*

  4. I have never been what you call a fashioniesta (sp?) and I think I could take you in the klutz competition. I too have left the cosmetic counter feeling like a lady of the evening... not made up for an evening!

    I started back to yoga last week and it has been great.

    I have no advice for you on make-up although I wont leave the house without mascara, and you always look nice in your pictures. I think self acceptance is a great thing!

    Good luck in your journey!

  5. I can't help with the makeup either, I'm not a makeup wearer. See, I used to have lovely pale pale skin and dark black hair (and lashes and eyebrows) and so I didn't ever really need to wear makeup and at least look... uh... bright. Not perfect, but contrasty.

    Man, age sucks because I don't know that I can get away with that anymore but now I don't know what to do about makeup either. I dont' like makeup.

    But you know what? Feeling happy with yourself is about liking what you have, so I'm with you: I'm trying to focus on the good things.

    Now, what those are....?

  6. As a teenager I experimented with makeup and hairstyles and way out clothes. In my twenties I got involved in the women's movement (I must write about that sometime)and I stopped wearing makeup, cut my hair short (though I did bleach it) and found the fashion style that was right for me.

    I guess I learned that there were more important things to think about and get involved in then what eye shadow to wear.

    I took yoga lessons and did yoga for years. It's a great way to relax.

  7. Did you pull that post out of my head ? The only day I ever felt comfortable in make-up was my wedding day and it took 3 months of practice 'feeling like a clown' sessions before it was comfortable. I never did learn how to do it myself and so I don't. If I ever get comfortable in my own skin, I'll let you know. A new exercise program is underway though (in week 2) and I'm hopeful that I'll keep it up.

  8. I slept on it before replying to this post because your thoughts really resonate with me. I found Sal about the same time you did (or maybe it was through you...I can't remember) and I think she is fabulous too! I may not be able to pull off some of the styles she does, but the great thing is she empowers us to find our own style, which I have been trying to be more mindful of. I am at that age where my body is changing, my hair is getting thinner (and gray) and there are definitely more lines on my face! Some days it's hard to take. I rarely wear makeup anymore...just the protective moisturizing sunscreen stuff, which if I had done more of that when I was younger I might look better now, but hindsight is always 20/20! I was looking for a picture of our cat Figaro to put in a memory frame and found pictures of me in my 20's. Wow! I looked so young and had such a great figure then. Had myself a good cry about that, among other things and then realized that I'll never look like that again, but that's okay. My canvas is everchanging and I need to decorate the body I have now to what is pleasing to me, including comfort. I have some killer heels that take up space in my closet that I never wear because they kill my feet! A tight short mini skirt is not flattering or practical these days, so I need to fill my closet with clothes that do accentuate the best of my body and work with my new "Grandma" lifestyle! Not that being a Grandma changes what I wear, but it is one of the great positive things I like about reaching this age and helps me embrace the gray hairs! :) Acceptance...I think it is another growth process we need to work on and I appreciate having wonderful friends who are going through the same thing to share this journey. Thanks Gaylen!

  9. Makeup. I was never comfortable until Mary Kay, and I still wear only foundation - a mineral powder - and lip color daily. I'll add eye and cheek color for nights out.

    Body? You know I'm working on that too.

  10. Makeup...well, that was really a giant experiment for me. I've learned that the way the makeup counter ladies traditionally do my eyes is NOT flattering. It works for some eye shapes, but not mine. What I've done in the last several years is watch tv. If I see an actress that has the same eye shape as mine, I pay attention to how her eye makeup is done. Then I try to reproduce it. It's worked really well so far.

    As for my body...well, I have trouble with that, too. Pre-kids, I weighed 115 lbs soaking wet, was toned, slim, and could wear just about anything I wanted.

    Now, post-kids, I weigh 150 lbs on a good day, jiggle in places I didn't know *could* jiggle, and trying to find an outfit I feel like I look nice in basically leaves me depressed and wanting to just put my pj's back on and not go anywhere.

    I haz da issues. lol

  11. I know first hand that what we see in the mirror is not what everyone sees. I *know* I am short, but in my head, when I look in the mirror, I don't see short. It is only when I see photos of me next to other people that I say, "Gee, I really am short!" Every time, it is a surprise.

    I know I am thin, but I don't think I am *that* thin. I had to measure the students for chorus dresses/tuxes. I was surprised as I measured. Girls who I thought were about the same size as I am measured so much bigger. Then a girl who I think is extremely thin stepped up. Yep, her measurements matched mine. Of course, I did not say anything about anyone's measurements to the students. But in my head, I kept thinking, "Do I look *that* thin?!?!" Apparently, I do not see myself the way everyone else does.

    In my head, I look pretty good for my age, but I look my age. People are always shocked to find out how old I am. I see the wrinkles and grey, but apparently other people don't. Recently, I was asked out *on a date* by two different guys who are at least 10 yrs younger. Yes, I am married, but that is a whole different part of the conversation. :) They were surprised to learn my real age. Talk about an ego boost!

    I wear a bit of make up... a tinted moisturizer, a little blush, a little mascara. The hair is has to a be a total no-fuss style.

    My PT guy did wonders for my ego this summer. He made my legs look fantastic... and he made me see it to. I always thought my legs were too thin. He made me see the muscles and shape. Most importantly, he made me see how strong my legs could be.

  12. I am with Chan, just a light powder, swath of blush and lipgloss. Eyes are only done for special occasions. Due to changes in my skin, I have started to use a primer under my powder and really, really like the results. As for the body...have not yet reached a level of acceptance. Sigh...

  13. G, You gotta find the local Bobbie Brown counter. Bobbie is into making the most of what you have without going overboard. Tell the person at the counter you just want a nice natural daytime look. I really love the way they color match foundation. She has a foundation stick that you can wear as little or as much as you want. I use it and a tinted moisturizer. Most of making the most of your skin is good skin care, not a pancake mask to cover it up :) You will walk away feeling good about yourself and not like a clown!

  14. Last time I put on mascara, my one make-up thing (my eyelashes were blonde), was before my lupus diagnosis and while I was having major hair loss from it. The weight of that mascara... All my eyelashes fell out. I had bald eyes.

    That was the last time I put on any type of makeup, 25 years ago. That's not everybody's choice, but it's the one I like personally.


I appreciate you coming to see me. It may take me a bit to publish your comment - but I will get to them by the end of every day. If you leave a way for me to get back to you, I will. Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your opinions. g

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